They will open in a new window in case you wanna read them while reading the story behind them here:
The true story is yours
Don't read if you want to keep your own interpretation of it! Every song and every poem has a lot of meanings and every reader and listener will give them their own meaning. All the meanings are equally true! I've even found new meanings to my own lyrics when I've experienced more in life after writing them. So, it's stupid to argue what's the absolute true meaning of any fiction writing like lyrics or a poem.
Here's ( so far ) what ' Where Am I? ' is about to me, the writer.
How was the song born...?
First of all, I usually write lyrics and songs when I have a feeling that comes out of me. This time I wrote when I was told and decided to write so this process was totally different!
I was heading to my band's rehearsal room back in 2008 ( Halloween night to be exact ) to sleep after a costume party. The rehearsal room was at Suvilahti, where Flow Festival is these days.
I didn't know my bandmate ( at the time, we don't have a band anymore ) was there with his another band's member. They were ending their nightly rehearsal. M.Airikka who is the other composer of ' Where Am I? ' took his guitar and said to me: " Let's write a song! Here's the riff for us! " and then played the main riff of the song.
I then took a piece of paper and a pen ( oldschool! ) and went on a mattress to write.
We decided this should be an urban cowboy story!
M. Airikka recorded the guitar riff while I wrote the lyrics. Then I recorded the melody with the lyrics. I improvised the melody as I was singing and reading the lyrics on record.
After that a lot of changes has been made to the song and one day I'll make a video of the evolution of the song. But now it's not the time for that because I want to give space to the song like it is today. And this entry is not about production, this is about lyrics. And the lyrics have been the same all the time.
So that's how the song was born!
About the story behind the lyrics
Now be careful. If you read this and you lose the illusion that may ruin the song for you it'll be sad. :(
You must be absolutely sure you want to continue reading this.
The story behind the lyrics is... hangover. Not kidding!
Once, I woke up at someone's place and was extremely pleased ( for once, haha ) that I hadn't had sex with the person. I had slept with my clothes on. I left the place happily. I had a hangover. My hair was all messy. I didn't have sunglasses with me and my heel was broken. I had extremely short skirt and a party top on that had lots of bling bling. So I looked weird outside the house where it was a beautiful sunny day.
Sometimes the hangover you have is more like feeling tired or numb and you feel calm and kinda nice. Like you're floating. You're like a feather in the wind.
I had that kind of relaxing hangover going on but the sun was too bright. I felt I'm a free spirit and adventurous. You feel like dead but so alive!
That's a rare hangover. Usually it's just awful.
So, I stumbled out of that guy's house and saw this pastel colored world. The houses around me were all baby blue, light pink, light yellow... and I had absolutely no idea where the fuck I was! I was like " Where Am I...? "
It didn't even look like Finland to me. I wasn't sure if I was lost. I knew I was somewhere at Eastern Helsinki.
I walked uneasily and saw a fountain, some kids jumping rope. They looked at me in awe. I must've looked like a creature from underworld. I didn't belong there. I thought the pastel colors and the fountain and all that looked almost like a magic world. I almost waited a unicorn to appear. Or huge lollipop's dancing or something.
The sun was so bright it felt like it'd go right through me. I tried to cover my eyes and to walk at the same time but it didn't quite work.. There was these really wide stairs and I tried to climb them. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. Took way too wide steps with my soar feet and heels.
Finally I saw McDonald's and realised I was at Vuosaari. ( And then I ate a hamburger and boringly went home )
So. Sadly, this is the story behind ' Where Am I? ' I coud've never imagined that months later I'd write a song based on that.
Then I added to the lyrics some moods from Tarantino movies, westerns, road movies and imagined an old blind indian who is wise and sees through everything. Maybe even to the future.
I also continued the story about a stranger who is just hanging around with no money, no connection to anyone around him/her/other and no battery left in mobile phone. Nothing. But the person in the song is happy with nothing. Like a stray getting what he/she/other gets. It's nice to be an outsider, watching people. It's a writer's must do, to observe.
Aaaand because I'm a woman ( genderfluid though ) this is about an independent woman who does what she wants, if she wants to get drunk and go to a stranger's house and find herself somewhere she don't know, then she will and won't be ashamed. More like refreshed!
Not that I courage people to go to stranger's houses. I wouldn't these days but when you're young and dumb you do stuff. You can get yourself killed or raped so be cautious. Never do what TonyGirl does.
So there's a reason why I don't wear pants on the cover! Haha. The underwear got lost somewhere...
( I actually once lost my panties but that's another story... ). I'll write more about being naked on the cover later on.
I like to go to places alone though without getting involved with anyone.
And it's refreshing to get lost.
So the song is about FREEDOM.
It's about dancing in the rain!
About leaving to unknown.
About being humble and happy about small things like rain and a pint.
I love that kind of stuff.
It's about leaning on a window and daydreaming when it's raining outside. A car window maybe. A buss window?
It's about walking in the desert when it's hot with a cowboy hat on your head.
It's about adventures!
And it's about a nice melancholy mood that isn't actually sadness at all. More like a nostalgic feeling. Anything can happen.
I was all alone but didn't feel lonely
this was my story didn't need anybody
The road layed ahead, no boundaries
as far as my blind eyes could see
Soooo what do I think about the lyrics?
I waited for years to get this song done and I think the lyrics are the best I've wrote.
I like them because they are not typical and I like how there's a story with lots of scenes. I normally don't write like that. I like this part because it's a bit funny and it's not typical:
Someone came and asked if I wanna follow
at first I wasn't sure but then why not..?
And I like how there's two parts of the song in between and then it returns to the story, and that even earlier in the song there's mentioned that the character in the song have been standing in the rain so that's why the people at the pub stare at the person who's soaked:
I walked in with the one I followed
they all looked at me, it must've been the water
I sat down and got a pint
There was nothin' more I could've asked from life
Some decadence there alright. I'm not a big fan of decadence but here it's ok.
Pretty pleased with the rhymes.
' Murdering Lights ' and ' Whatever Happens ' are more simple compared to this one.
And I like the fact that the character in this song is fictional. This is not about my heart-break, about my depression or anything like that.
You might ask how I can say it's fictional when I've spent time telling that the song is based on me going out and having a hangover.
But the character in the song and the story is based on that but not about that literally.
I like kept my own experiences in mind when I wrote about a stranger.
Well, I hope you like the lyrics and the song!
p.s: I tried to find the place with Google Maps but I couldn't.
Maybe it was just a dream...?