sunnuntai 20. elokuuta 2017

Lyrics for ' Where Am I? ' added on the site/ STORYTIME!

The lyrics for ' Where Am I? ' added here: Lyrics
They will open in a new window in case you wanna read them while reading the story behind them here:

The true story is yours

Don't read if you want to keep your own interpretation of it! Every song and every poem has a lot of meanings and every reader and listener will give them their own meaning. All the meanings are equally true! I've even found new meanings to my own lyrics when I've experienced more in life after writing them. So, it's stupid to argue what's the absolute true meaning of any fiction writing like lyrics or a poem. 

Here's ( so far ) what ' Where Am I? ' is about to me, the writer.

How was the song born...?

First of all, I usually write lyrics and songs when I have a feeling that comes out of me. This time I wrote when I was told and decided to write so this process was totally different!

I was heading to my band's rehearsal room back in 2008 ( Halloween night to be exact ) to sleep after a costume party. The rehearsal room was at Suvilahti, where Flow Festival is these days. 

I didn't know my bandmate ( at the time, we don't have a band anymore ) was there with his another band's member. They were ending their nightly rehearsal. M.Airikka who is the other composer of ' Where Am I? ' took his guitar and said to me: " Let's write a song! Here's the riff for us! " and then played the main riff of the song. 
I then took a piece of paper and a pen ( oldschool! ) and went on a mattress to write.

We decided this should be an urban cowboy story!

M. Airikka recorded the guitar riff while I wrote the lyrics. Then I recorded the melody with the lyrics. I improvised the melody as I was singing and reading the lyrics on record. 

After that a lot of changes has been made to the song and one day I'll make a video of the evolution of the song. But now it's not the time for that because I want to give space to the song like it is today. And this entry is not about production, this is about lyrics. And the lyrics have been the same all the time. 

So that's how the song was born!

About the story behind the lyrics

Now be careful. If you read this and you lose the illusion that may ruin the song for you it'll be sad. :(
You must be absolutely sure you want to continue reading this. 

So when I started to write the lyrics on the mattress, I soon understood what I used as the inspiration for the story.  The lyrics come from my subconsciousness and they are often like a dream I try to understand later on.

The story behind the lyrics is... hangover. Not kidding!

Once, I woke up at someone's place and was extremely pleased ( for once, haha ) that I hadn't had sex with the person. I had slept with my clothes on. I left the place happily.  I had a hangover. My hair was all messy. I didn't have sunglasses with me and my heel was broken. I had extremely short skirt and a party top on that had lots of bling bling. So I looked weird outside the house where it was a beautiful sunny day.

Sometimes the hangover you have is more like feeling tired or numb and you feel calm and kinda nice. Like you're floating. You're like a feather in the wind.
I had that kind of relaxing hangover going on but the sun was too bright. I felt I'm a free spirit and adventurous. You feel like dead but so alive!
That's a rare hangover. Usually it's just awful.

So, I stumbled out of that guy's house and saw this pastel colored world. The houses around me were all baby blue, light pink, light yellow... and I had absolutely no idea where the fuck I was! I was like " Where Am I...? "
It didn't even look like Finland to me. I wasn't sure if I was lost. I knew I was somewhere at Eastern Helsinki.

I walked uneasily and saw a fountain, some kids jumping rope. They looked at me in awe. I must've looked like a creature from underworld. I didn't belong there. I thought the pastel colors and the fountain and all that looked almost like a magic world. I almost waited a unicorn to appear. Or huge lollipop's dancing or something.

The sun was so bright it felt like it'd go right through me. I tried to cover my eyes and to walk at the same time but it didn't quite work.. There was these really wide stairs and I tried to climb them. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. Took way too wide steps with my soar feet and heels.

Finally I saw McDonald's and realised I was at Vuosaari. ( And then I ate a hamburger and boringly went home )

So. Sadly, this is the story behind ' Where Am I? '  I coud've never imagined that months later I'd write a song based on that.

Then I added to the lyrics some moods from Tarantino movies, westerns, road movies and imagined an old blind indian who is wise and sees through everything. Maybe even to the future.

I also continued the story about a stranger who is just hanging around with no money, no connection to anyone around him/her/other and no battery left in mobile phone. Nothing. But the person in the song is happy with nothing. Like a stray getting what he/she/other gets. It's nice to be an outsider, watching people. It's a writer's must do, to observe.

Aaaand because I'm a woman ( genderfluid though ) this is about an independent woman who does what she wants, if she wants to get drunk and go to a stranger's house and find herself somewhere she don't know, then she will and won't be ashamed. More like refreshed!

Not that I courage people to go to stranger's houses. I wouldn't these days but when you're young and dumb you do stuff. You can get yourself killed or raped so be cautious. Never do what TonyGirl does.

So there's a reason why I don't wear pants on the cover! Haha. The underwear got lost somewhere...
( I actually once lost my panties but that's another story... ). I'll write more about being naked on the cover later on.

I like to go to places alone though without getting involved with anyone.
And it's refreshing to get lost.

So the song is about FREEDOM. 

It's about dancing in the rain!
About leaving to unknown. 
About being humble and happy about small things like rain and a pint. 

I love that kind of stuff. 

It's about leaning on a window and daydreaming when it's raining outside. A car window maybe. A buss window?
It's about walking in the desert when it's hot with a cowboy hat on your head. 
It's about adventures! 

And it's about a nice melancholy mood that isn't actually sadness at all. More like a nostalgic feeling. Anything can happen. 

I was all alone but didn't feel lonely
this was my story didn't need anybody
The road layed ahead, no boundaries
as far as my blind eyes could see

Soooo what do I think about the lyrics?

I waited for years to get this song done and I think the lyrics are the best I've wrote.
I like them because they are not typical and I like how there's a story with lots of scenes. I normally don't write like that. I like this part because it's a bit funny and it's not typical: 

Someone came and asked if I wanna follow
at first I wasn't sure but then why not..?

And I like how there's two parts of the song in between and then it returns to the story, and that even earlier in the song there's mentioned that the character in the song have been standing in the rain so that's why the people at the pub stare at the person who's soaked:

I walked in with the one I followed
they all looked at me, it must've been the water
I sat down and got a pint
There was nothin' more I could've asked from life

Some decadence there alright. I'm not a big fan of decadence but here it's ok. 
Pretty pleased with the rhymes.

' Murdering Lights ' and ' Whatever Happens ' are more simple compared to this one.
And I like the fact that the character in this song is fictional. This is not about my heart-break, about my depression or anything like that. 

You might ask how I can say it's fictional when I've spent time telling that the song is based on me going out and having a hangover. 

But the character in the song and the story is based on that but not about that literally.
I like kept my own experiences in mind when I wrote about a stranger.

Well, I hope you like the lyrics and the song! 

p.s: I tried to find the place with Google Maps but I couldn't. 

Maybe it was just a dream...?

' Where Am I? ' now on SoundCloud! Remember to SHARE it with your friends if you like it, thank youuuuu!

lauantai 29. heinäkuuta 2017

' Where Am I ? ' TEASER VOL 2 & 3

Three more days to go! ' Where Am I ' will be released 1st of August 2017.  Here are the samples of the song I posted earlier on YouTube. Remember to subscribe so you'll get a notification when I post a video on YouTube. :)


sunnuntai 25. kesäkuuta 2017

UPCOMING SONG: ' Where Am I? ' The first sample of the song on YouTube

Hope everyone had a dope Midsummer! Flowerpower!

Here's the first sample of the upcoming song of mine called ' Where Am I? '

As you can hear, it's far from any of the songs I've previously released. 
It's more like sunshine pop/folk rock/indie with hints of reggae. A chill out tune for summer.

Hopefully you're gonna like it. 

A lonely rider is passing by, whistling on his way...

tiistai 2. toukokuuta 2017

Spotlight Interview at IMP!

This Spotlight interview was released a while ago at but apparently I had linked it to FB but not here. Well, here it is in case you missed it! I also added a link to my frontpage banner so it's easy to find later on if you don't have the time to read it now.


Thank you Scott for interviewing me!

A screenshot of the interview

I had fun doing the interview, hopefully you enjoy it or enjoyed it when it was released.
Haha! :D

maanantai 1. toukokuuta 2017

Lyric video for Whatever Happens now on YouTube!

I got this condition called " Bell's palsy " and my face is paralyzed at the moment. Let's hope I'm one of the 95% who will recover completely. I took some art pictures of this condition to empower myself and to celebrate May Day. After that I got an idea to add those pics to ' Whatever Happens ' lyrics video I made today for therapy: I really need to believe I will survive and my face will be normal soon! I was also a bit pissed off and felt a bit sarcastic when I edited the video. It helped! :D

Hopefully you had better MayDay celebration than I did! 

Well, here's the video. Hopefully you enjoy it:

I also posted to Instagram about this earlier. At first I was like I'm not gonna worry but now I'm a bit worried and tired about this. I need some peer support...Again. 

lauantai 21. tammikuuta 2017

The wrap up of 2016 - My first full year active!

TonyGirl started releasing music in Halloween 2015, so the first full year active was the year 2016.
Let's have a look at it!

Murdering Lights: Underneath the fridge 

TonyGirl the chameleon started the year with androgynous style.  Depressed hiding under a bridge half naked and cold in Valentines Day 2016 when the photoshoot for the 2nd single ' Murdering Lights ' took place at wintery Korso. Click here to see more
Later that year I got a reason to really be depressed again...

Call the gender police, some people got confused!

Kaaoszine Magazine reviewed ' Murdering Lights ' 

On Feb 28th Kaaoszine reviewed ' Murdering Lights ' : " The intro of the song manages to sound a bit like 3 Doors Down song ' Here without you ' but then it changes to something completely different. It's a low tempo song about depression. The song opened up the second time I listened to it. It's not for everyone, but when it finds it's audience it will work for sure. ", wrote Sanna Uusi-Rasi. Big thanks to Kaaoszine. This started the year nicely!

Arvostelu suomeksi

Kiitos Kaaoszine hyvästä vuoden 2016 alusta

The Lady Voices Of Indie, Kayak Big 25 Chart and Golden Kayaks!

' Murdering Lights ' was released March 14th at Spotify, Deezer, iTunes etc. Eve Delvecchio found ' Murdering Lights ' from Facebook group that was one of the many SoundCloud artist groups I had linked stuff to ( can't remember which one of them ) and asked me to join

So after thinking about it carefully I decided to live like I preach: " Whatever happens it's for the best.! " and uploaded both of my songs there.
At first and mostly ' Murdering Lights ' got all the attention there. It was the #1st on All Genres Chart and #1st on  Kayak Big 25 Chart and got nice reviews: " Wow this is like Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins rolled into one. I could see this song as the backdrop of some film. I especially love the oohs at the end. There's nothing to criticize here, it was golden. ", wrote Bobby D.

" Epic in the true sense of the word. Sung with authority of Love but no harshness just pure power. Though depression is a hard topic, this song will get you through it. " - Heavy Rotation review

 Read those and more reviews here. 

The song was also chosen to be on ' Lady Voices of Indie ' compilation charity dmd cd to support Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

In September 14th 2016 also ' Whatever Happens ' rose to Kayak Big 25. What a nice surprise!
It climbed up to 2nd place and it's still on the chart after four months currently number #10.
I also got real excited when the song was 3# and Juliette Lewis had her song #1 that week.

Later in 2016, ' Murdering Lights ' was nominated at Golden Kayak Awards.

Thank you Eve, Scott and everyone else at IndieMusicPeople!
Without you, there wouldn't be much to write about the year ' 16. 

More about the awards

The Newswine article, Murdering Lights music video and the changes I had to make to my plans

The music video for ' Murdering Lights ' was released May 28th at YouTube. It got 2060 views in 2016. Let's make it at least 4000 this year, shall we...? Share the video with your friends at least once in 2017, please. ;) 

I also released the funny and weird Making of documentary. 

Matti Viikate wanted to interview me and sent the article to Newsvine. I talked about the song I was about to release later in the summer 2016. Thank you Matti for your support.

Then my long term friend and my love died in July.  It didn't feel good to release a reggae influnced smooth song about carefree living anymore. I've been really sad and tired ever since.

Also, I'm having his baby so I've been full of pregnancy hormones. Here's a photo of my pregnant shadow.

Like we all know 2016 took a lot of musicians.  He also was a musician, Intriga. He was doing a remix of ' Murdering Lights ' but didn't have the time. 
Here's his last released song ' Coolness Maximiser ' if you're into goa/psytrance. And here's a song from his another project called Dirty Device.  Memories. I wanted to link these here to give some respect to his work and for his memory I cherish in my heart.

So, back to business:  I didn't have another song recorded so I had to apologize I had already told I'm going to release a song but couldn't. Then I tried my best to get a new song out that year but failed. The Rock Above Studio I work at had a huge renovation and it delayed everything. I've learned: Never ever tell you're gonna release anything if you're unsure you can. I hope you forgive me: I've been in a shock in a new situation and trying my best.

Hurrying up with some new vocals. You can't really hurry art. 

Lazy ass musicians " working " ;) 

But all in all, I think 2016 was a good 1st whole year for TonyGirl*.

*TonyGirl the music project, not Tony the person who was sad, of course...

I want to thank all the listeners,  the followers at different social media platforms and all the people I worked with in 2016. Thanks for staying by my side! It means a lot! HUGE thanks! <3 

With love, TonyGirl the chameleon who magically changed from androgynous to a desperate housewife. There's a reason for the change but I'll tell U more about it later. ;) 


keskiviikko 18. tammikuuta 2017

The old version of ' Murdering Lights ' and some criminal activity!

Oh my, " someone " leaked an old demo version of ' Murdering Lights '

Here it is:

And " someone " went and sang some Britney:


Hope you like these!

Sorry for the long wait for a new song...